Well here I am. I am sure most of those who added me to their buddy list have long since deleted me, lol. And I can't say as I blame them!
I had to go for awhile. It was and is really to risky to have this diary unlocked and continue posting to it. I have shared SO much here and if this were to be found by the wrong person, my life would be turned upsidedown.
I felt to post tonight though. Just so I can say I still have a diary. I love posting here and I want to continue to do so. But it will be less often. And with caution.
Much has happened over the last year or two. The major thing is that Todd and I eventually stopped speaking after the big blowup Brenda and I had with him. Unfortunately they have continued their "secret" relationship and her and I are NO LONGER friends.
Funny thing is that 3 days ago he suddenly contacts me and says the only reason he hasn't before is because he has been afraid and he wants to see me again.
Hmmmm..... been there, done that.
Finally getting my life back on track and now this?? God.
We made the decision not to see each other yet. But he will be in touch. I need time to think about this one. I still love him and ALWAYS will. He knows that. But damn, looking back over my entries in this diary, its obvious how very badly I was hurting while seeing him.
Anyway... we'll see how this goes and I will try to post in here more. It really does help to write this stuff out. Good for the soul.
Almost too much - March 24, 2006
Contact... Oh God - March 22, 2006
Life is cruel - March 02, 2006
Todd's Back... - September 03, 2005
still here - February 12, 2005
I feeltoday