Woke up to some very fallish weather. Um.. not sure what to think of this. Seems like as soon as we get some sun, the summer heat is gone and fall is on its way.
I always have a hard time with this time of year... the smell in the air, the feel of the breeze when I step outside... it is always the same and reminds me of when my first daughter died.
I can remember going outside to be alone the evening of the day we buried her and just sitting there taking in all that surrounded me. That night left an imprint in my heart and mind. I'll never forget the feeling in my heart and the tears streaming down my face as the cool late August breeze ruffled past me and the smells of the evening... so sweet... so bittersweet somehow soothed my hurting soul.
So this morning, I am hurting a little bit... as those memories haunt and envelop me completely.
It's a strange feeling... one I experience every single year.
My little girl feels very close to me now... at this time of year... closer than at any other time. And oh God... it hurts, but I can feel her beauty surrounding me and it gives me peace.
Almost too much - March 24, 2006
Contact... Oh God - March 22, 2006
Life is cruel - March 02, 2006
Todd's Back... - September 03, 2005
still here - February 12, 2005
I feeltoday